This explanation of ‘Feeling Sad’ has changed my life.
I had my fair share of feeling sad over the years. The problem is that we don’t like talking about it.
We all know people like to present the better self online, but presenting the real self can be refreshing.
Pandemic, lockdown, #WFH, childcare.. and all the constant multi-tasking can make us feel stressed, even depressed and sad.
Ever heard the term ‘loss aversion’? It’s about our behaviour of avoiding losses. Somehow, these days the more we try to avoid, the worse we might feel.
"Because when you feel sad, you are grieving for something you have lost. "
What does this mean?
If means if you are sad, you have lost something you love and value (despite your effort of trying); and maybe the loss you are trying to avoid isn’t the right thing after all.
The decisions we make under the influence of ‘Fear of Loss’ can be wrong (Check out my last blog on ‘Fear of Loss’)
How to change:
Figure out what is the loss you are grieving, get it back or try to stay close to it. It could be just as simple as a hobby - a simple pleasure (but watching Netflix doesn't count).
You are never too busy to be happy.
#behaviouralscience #humancentricity #humancentricmarketing #marketing #selfcare #marketersclub
Organising my own fundraiser has cured me. Many of us are shy to ask for money, even if it is for a great cause.
In difficult times, thinking of others become more important.
We organised our first family fundraiser with our boy (age 6) and it has cured me, from having:
> The fear of ‘What if it fails?’
> The self-doubt of ‘Can I pull it off?’
> Procrastination of ‘I’ll do it later’.
My top 5 learnings (backed by science)
1. Reciprocity - Donors received handmade decorations.
2. Scarcity -Everyone knew only so many decorations can be made in 1 week and everything sold out in couple of days.
3. Liking - In WhatsApp group particularly where people are bond by similar interests, when one person voice their support, more will follow.
4. Degree of difficulty - make it easy for people to view & donate. Using a dedicated instagram & Google photo; online and offline ways to donate; An outdoor ‘Driveway Christmas Market’ for those who likes to meet and greet.
5. Finally, do it from your heart - use it to show your true-self. It's the best way to influence people.
Do something great and #humancentricity this year.
We learn the most valuable things from doing.
Fear of Loss
We are living amongst a lot of uncertainties right now, which involve risks and fear. Businesses are losing revenues, people are losing time, opportunities and jobs. As we know, people hate experiencing losses. In behavioural science, it is called ‘loss aversion’ and “zero-risk bias”.
Basically, it means that we like to make decisions to avoid losing. For example, when businesses make the decision to close because it incurs less financial loss than if remaining open; when people choose to work longer hours remotely because of the Fear of Losing their job; even when people protest against wearing masks because of their Fear of Losing their rights … etc. Lots and lots of decisions are influenced by the Fear of Loss.
Not just for businesses, in personal life too, the Fear of Loss can be overwhelming. Anyone who has experienced traumatic losses can vouch for its power in influencing our decision making and sometimes blinds us from seeing other things. Even when you are watching a magician performing, you are afraid of missing something, so they tell you to look closely. However, the closer you think you are, the less you'll actually see.
I have known for a while now that #LinkedIn uses algorithms to determine what content we should see. I always wondered why I get so many updates but also as to how annoying it is that no sooner do you see something interesting, the second the page is refreshed, it’s gone and buried somewhere way down the list. There is little hope of finding it again, especially for those of us with the lesser levels of patience.
I used to find it fascinating (still do actually) to hear people sharing tips on how to work with the algorithm. They use different tactics to persuade viewers to click on 'See More', 'Like' or 'Comments’. For example, space your content out, use an intriguing first line and if others want to see the rest, they have to click on ‘See More’; Tap into people’s emotions by sharing something very sad, angry or happy; even something controversial so people will voice their opinion. All because these engagements will help the algorithms to learn that your content is popular, therefore it will prioritize your content to more users in your network.
But today, I decided to TRY to take control of what I see. I was shocked to find how difficult it is to beat the system.
I begin to learn and care about Diversity and Inclusion (D&I) by accident when I became a program manager for the “Women in Gaming” initiative as a part of the Facebook Gaming team.
That was a year where I felt that my job meant something, I was helping people and the program was raising an important and meaningful message about women in the gaming industry.
Even when I left Facebook a year ago, I was feeling energised and appreciated by the team and Women in Gaming community I helped to build. I thought I must write about my experience and learnings but I didn’t… Now I know why, deep down, I sort of knew that if I had written one last year, it would be very different from the point of view now. I would have been influenced by my own bias because of my job, colleagues and companies I worked with. Basically, I was not neutral. Being neutral is hard but the world needs objectivity and neutrality.
In this blog, you will find 3 things:
“There are two sides to every coin“.
I have many friends who use Instagram. I often hear different views, some love it for the content, some are annoyed to see people not presenting their real self. There are always two sides, being online can make you happy or unhappy; connected or isolated; confident or losing more self-esteem…the same technology but with different effects.
Our responsive behaviours online become intriguing for researchers like me to better understand the impact of technology. Over the years, some friends have closed their social media accounts due to privacy concerns and others are using social media for everything. Personally, I love social media but have seen both the good and bad sides of it. I even tried doing a social media detox and have also noticed myself switching between private to public from time to time. When it comes to how we use social media, there is no simple right or wrong decision. We make the best decision for ourselves with what we know. To me, the more important part is how to make better decisions so we can actively avoid the negatives. This where Cyberpsychology - a study of human behaviours and technology - can help.
OK, so I have heard many people criticizing others for posting selfies, dinner photos, holiday updates etc on Social Media. As a Cyberpsychology researcher, I have a different perspective. It’s good for us to post about ourselves! Where many good reasons exist, here are 3 good reasons as to why.
I spent the last 3 weeks without Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Google and Gmail while I was on holiday in China. Most of the foreign social media was blocked for political reasons except WeChat and LinkedIn. My social media usage was suddenly reduced by about 70%.
So you might ask ‘How did you feel?’ I also wondered how this had affected me so I started thinking and had a few conversations with myself (not in a crazy way).
Here are the top 3 things I learned